A Message for My Daughters

Posted on August 7, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Life’s a lesson, girls, and like it or not, I’m more educated in it than you are. Therefore, I think it’s time we had a little talk.  Experience has shown me that you need to learn a few things, so put your fingers in your ears and read:

1.  Do not place a collect call to the house phone from your teen line. While it was fun, I’m sure, and you said you needed to learn how to do it, it cost me money. I also learned something when you did it – to save the lecture til after I hang up the phone next time.

2.  Do not back the car up over the bikes (which were in the grass four feet off the driveway, oh yes, they were) and then tell me it was my fault because of the way I parked the car.

3.  Do not tell your teachers not to buy my book because it might embarrass you. This is your college education funding that you’re gambling with, sweeties. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.

4.  Do not tell me that you don’t have any change left from the $20 I gave you, then keep a stash of change and money in your room, and later tell me that you have your “own” money. 

5.  Do not use Twitter to tell me that you’re hungry when you’re sitting in your bedroom right over my head. Cute, maybe, but I guarantee it’s not going to get you fed!

6.  Do not call 911 because you think it’s your first grade friend’s phone number and then hang up.

7.  When the phone rings after you call 911 and hang up, do not fly up the stairs screaming I’m not here!  And do not expect your mom to know what to tell the police when you haven’t told her what you did.

Those are just a few of the lessons I want you to keep under your belt. Oh, and don’t tell me that you don’t have a belt, all right?

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