The ABC’s of Me

Posted on August 31, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Mothers are chameleons, adept at changing colors as often as they change hats. We can be soothing, loving, funny, considerate, adamant, supportive, and yes, even angry, creatures – of habit or otherwise.

Over the years, I’ve realized that my role as a mom as a mom has changed. I’m no longer changing diapers and wiping noses, but have now changed to a referee of clothes fights and the recipient of eye rolls. If I had to write the ABC’s of me, lately it seems that they wouldn’t change by the year, but more likely by the hour of  the day. For instance, here is the ABC’s of me this morning, a chilly Monday morning in Ilinois, with two teenage daughters who didn’t want to get out of bed or go to school.

A – Apologetic, especially when Meridith came downstairs and said, “Hey, thanks for the lunch, Mom.” Oops, I totally forgot to pack two of those today.

B – Brave. One must be to walk into the wilderness of those bedrooms to wake up two angry bears who haven’t hibernated quite long enough to be human.

C – Cautious – One must be when they are executing the above.

D – Dedicated, otherwise, why would I continue to do it day after day, year after year?

E – Expressive. You should really hear me sing the Star Spangled Banner in the morning. It gets them out of bed on the right, er wrong, foot every time, but it does get the job done. They’ll do anything to get me to stop singing.

F – Faithful – every Monday, I’m back at it again, giving them another dose of Wake Up.

G – Giving.  I did, after all, give them a few dollars to substitute for the lunch that never was.

H – Helpful. I’ve already found a pair of flip flops and a protractor that was “lost” and $10 we didn’t know we had. Well, the girls knew they had it, they just didn’t know that I found it. It was leftover from the $20 I gave them Friday. They must have forgotten to give it back. They’ll have to thank me for keeping them honest.

I – Intuitive. I know where they keep their money stash each and every time.

J – Jealous, and I admit it. Already feeling the green-eyed monster of jealousy creeping in as I think woefully about my husband taking the day off and getting in a round of golf today while I get to work. Sigh.

K – Knowledgeable – refer back to I and H for this one.

L – Laundress who is now lost in fear at the growing mound of laundry that threatens to overtake the house as it spills from one room to another, threatening to render me invisible.

M – Motivator – “You better get out of bed or I’m going to yank you out by your toes!” Need I say more?

N – Needling “When is practice over? Do you need a ride? Is your homework done? What time did you go to bed, anyway?” Too many questions, not enough answers.

O – Opportunity Pointer-Outer:  “You should have done that Saturday instead of spending hours with your friends. You might have gotten more money but you didn’t do the dishes. You better get out the door, or you’ll miss the bus; I’m not scrambling to drive you 18 miles each way to school.”

P – Patient. These are daughters 3 and 4. I got through the first two, and I’m still here, hanging in.

Q – Questionable. Who’s house? Who’s driving? When will you be home? Where are you? Why are you there? Questionable goes hand in hand with my natural talent in dentistry, as it becomes evident that the answers require pulling teeth every day.

R – Razor Retriever and Repairer: Rushed out to buy new razors this morning, and then had to repair the damage after the 16 year old’s leg got in  major scuffle with one of them.

S – Shrill, how the girls described my rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. It’s not pretty, but it works.

T – The One. The One everyone turns to for money, cookies, clean clothes, tablets, homework, rides, dinner, face wash, Homecoming dresses, feeding the dog, and the cat, and proofreading essays.

U – Unbiased, I’m as equally unfair and loving to each of them. I did forget both of their lunches today, right? That’s equality in parenting.

V – Verifiably certfiable according to the kids.

W – Wrong most of the time, according to the girls, especially when it comes to Algebra or interpreting their Spanish. I do know, however, when they say Mamasita that they’re talking about me.

X – X-Ray Expert. Oh, I know when its bent and broken, whether it’s human or concrete.

Y – Yo-Mom. I answer to all names.

Z – This morning, I’m not a Z. There’s nothing that starts with Z that describes me right now. I can’t be everything to everyone, right? That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it.

Now as I settle into “work” mode, which comes immediately prior to laundry mode, then supper mode, I’ll transform and the ABC’s of me will be colored differently, more professionally, and somehow a whole lot more quietly.

Later, all.


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2 Responses to “The ABC’s of Me”

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I LOVE this. This is my daily life too. Glad I’m not alone! LOL

Thanks, ever changing world of motherhood. The kids’ tempers and personalities still change by the second, no wonder I call them by the wong names half the time! Good luck with your day!

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