Not Me! Strikes Again

Posted on January 25, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

In my book, Caution: Children Should Come With Warning Labels, I talk about one of my invisible kids, Not Me. Here’s some of the shinnagins little Not has pulled recently:

1.  Not Me! took a gray sweater that the youngest swore was right there LAST MONTH!

2.  When we looked for the sweater, Not Me! had put it right back.

3.  Not Me! failed to do the dishes. I know because when I asked who was supposed to do them today, both of the girls said “Not Me!”

4.  Not Me! left long strands of hair in the bathroom sinks, mascara on the mirrors, towels on the floor and makeup on the vanity. Obviously a well-groomed little tyke, little Not also has psychadelic hair, both blonde and dark brown of various lengths. With clues like this, I think I’m getting closer to identifying just who Not Me is.

5.  After the girls ate the plain ones, Not Me! ate the peanut M & Ms that I bought for dad.

6.  Not Me! piled the garbage sky high in the kitchen, without bothering to take out the trash.

7.  Not Me! continued to put trash on the kitchen counter next to the garbage can because the trash can was over capacity.

8.  Not Me! took my new lip balm and put it in Emily’s bedroom.

9.  Not Me! ate a half gallon of ice cream in two days. How did little Not have room after devouring the M & Ms? Reminder: Not Me may need Jenny Craig intervention soon.

10.  Not Me! broke the retractable eyeliner pencil I bought the day before.

11.  Not Me! signed me out of my email every time I got up from the computer this weekend.

12.  Not Me! shut down the computer, causing me to have to rewrite two chapters of a book and fall behind in my work again.

And now, Not Me! gives me a rest. Little Not quietly disappears from 7:15 to 3:45 Monday through Friday so I can get something done, like wiping out sinks, emptying the trash, loading the dishwasher, stocking the fridge, and whipping out reruns of book chapters.

Thank you, Not Me, for the reprieve.

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